Webster defines Submission as: the state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else.
There’s a common misconception when it comes to being a submissive wife. The belief is that as a submissive wife, you’re responsible for maintaining your home, however, all decisions including those effecting you are made by your husband.
It’s takes a strong person to be submissive and it’s because of that strength, that submissive wives need to be apart of planning and decision-making in their homes, not just the maintenance.
As a submissive wife, Yes! You agree to serve your husband and home but not as a doormat or slave, as a partner.
As you serve your husband in love, your husband should be serving you too. He should also be sensitive to you and your needs, just as you are to him.
I entered my marriage thinking married life would be fun and exciting. I knew there would be work involved but I just knew we could work through anything together. I knew I’d continue working, cook and handle wife-stuff and he’d work and do husband-stuff; but I thought our finances and decisions that effected us, would be dealt with and made by us. Somewhere along the way, I fell into this false submissive role, where I was silent and allowed him to deal with whatever came our way.
Now, do not get me wrong, it sounds great in theory to let your husband “deal” with whatever arises, but he needs you!
He needs your way of thinking, your outlook on life, your view on finances, your goals, your vision, your imagination… YOU!
Being apart of decision making doesn’t mean you don’t trust him! It simply means you want to come to a decision together!
I’m writing this letter to you because it was this misunderstanding that placed me in position to be a victim. It was this misconception that made me feel guilty when I disagreed with my husband or questioned anything that he did. It was also this misinterpretation, that was used against me.
And perhaps this is being used against you…
I almost posted about something different this week, but I had to write to you, the Submissive Wife, first. I was You. I just didn’t have the right understanding of my role.
The Former “Submissive” Wife
P.s. Now, that we have my mindset down. Take this with you over the next several posts. It’ll help you know why I reacted the way I did to certain things that took place.
Stay tuned for the next post!