To the Submissive Wife:

Webster defines Submission as: the state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else.

There’s a common misconception when it comes to being a submissive wife. The belief is that as a submissive wife, you’re responsible for maintaining your home, however, all decisions including those effecting you are made by your husband.

It’s takes a strong person to be submissive and it’s because of that strength, that submissive wives need to be apart of planning and decision-making in their homes, not just the maintenance.

As a submissive wife, Yes! You agree to serve your husband and home but not as a doormat or slave, as a partner.

As you serve your husband in love, your husband should be serving you too. He should also be sensitive to you and your needs, just as you are to him.

I entered my marriage thinking married life would be fun and exciting. I knew there would be work involved but I just knew we could work through anything together. I knew I’d continue working, cook and handle wife-stuff and he’d work and do husband-stuff; but I thought our finances and decisions that effected us, would be dealt with and made by us. Somewhere along the way, I fell into this false submissive role, where I was silent and allowed him to deal with whatever came our way.

Now, do not get me wrong, it sounds great in theory to let your husband “deal” with whatever arises, but he needs you!

He needs your way of thinking, your outlook on life, your view on finances, your goals, your vision, your imagination… YOU!

Being apart of decision making doesn’t mean you don’t trust him! It simply means you want to come to a decision together!

I’m writing this letter to you because it was this misunderstanding that placed me in position to be a victim. It was this misconception that made me feel guilty when I disagreed with my husband or questioned anything that he did. It was also this misinterpretation, that was used against me.

And perhaps this is being used against you…

I almost posted about something different this week, but I had to write to you, the Submissive Wife, first. I was You. I just didn’t have the right understanding of my role.

Signed,
The Former “Submissive” Wife

P.s. Now, that we have my mindset down. Take this with you over the next several posts. It’ll help you know why I reacted the way I did to certain things that took place.

Stay tuned for the next post!

14 thoughts on “To the Submissive Wife:

  1. Those who are quick to point out that wives should submit to their husbands, often leave out the part where we are told to “submit to one another,” and that kindness, gentleness, and respect are the primary descriptors of a marriage. Thank you for sharing this post

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ahhh! I so resonate with everything you said. I tried so, so hard to be a “submissive wife” – the kind that lets the husband take control and never questions anything, because that’s who I thought I was supposed to be. I didn’t think I had the option to be myself. I had to be Suzie Housewife (while also working two jobs and taking college classes, because obviously that leaves lots of time for cooking and cleaning, right?!). In the end, I think it was a direct cause of the breakdown that almost literally killed me (I attempted suicide last fall, but praise the Lord that every single day that’s more and more in my past). The perfect housewife isn’t real. Ugh. Thanks for your message. It is very needed.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I couldn’t agree with you more! Sitting back and watching terrible decisions be made was the hardest part, but I thought that was what being ‘submissive’ was all about! And you’re right, it can absolutely lead you towards suicide! It’s crazy how just one small misunderstanding can have such a huge impact… Praise God that He didn’t leave us in that state of mind!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am only 3 years into this marriage thing so I still have a lot to learn but one thing I am thankful for is that my husband and I are transparent with our money and I have equal vote. I am learning that it comes with its ups and downs though. With equal say comes equal responsibilities. I also can’t hide behind our debt or money problems or leave him to “figure it out”. I carry the mental stress just as much as him. What keeps us going is putting God in the centre. Great post.

    Like

    1. I love hearing this! Equality/Unity in some of the larger areas such as finances and raising children, I believe are essential! Definitely keep God first in your marriage! Thank you for your support and I’m Praying your marriage and it’s continued Success! Blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

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